Here is Where I Stand

It’s been a long month. A long month. Each and every day has felt almost painfully long. I felt like I had almost lost my job, I’ve had the first full blown anxiety attack in two years, and I may have also lost an opportunity at furthering my career. I feel like I’m lost, and I feel like I’m listing. I feel less like I’m at a crossroads, more that I am adrift in the Dead Sea.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been without a goal. For the last three years or so, my goal was singular and no matter how I drifted from that goal, somewhere deep in my being I kept moving forward with it. I kept pursuing it whether out of stubbornness and refusal to admit defeat, or hope that I’d actually make something of the new life I was striving towards. Those that are near me know what it is, know the ins and outs of it, and know that while I was far from the only one at fault (the other party admits this), I have my own weight to bear in it and bear it I shall.

I’ve kept this whole thing private; I’ve never said anything public to anyone and I am proud of that. Friends that I thought weren’t anymore have come to me and asked me why I didn’t come out swinging like the other person involved, and others have asked what was going on because all they heard was one side of the story. I stayed respectful, and in my opinion, that respect wasn’t returned, and that is the only slight I will give that person. I fully expect her to read this and act as she has done in the past, and in putting this up I expose myself to that. You know what? You kick a man when he’s down and searching for a wall to brace against, what does that make you? I’ve gained friends over this, and the one friendship I thought was at risk I managed to save. No matter how righteously a fire burns, it still warns people to keep their distance. I feel I’m not the one that needs to learn that lesson.

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VIDEO – Brexit: The Movie

“The EU isn’t undemocratic. It’s anti-democratic.”

I guess just by the title of the video you can guess where I stand on the matter. I actually had to re-sign the electoral register since I’d moved out of my local borough, and I did it specifically because while I’m not necessarily into the political system (though I talk about political ideals), I feel obliged to vote in the EU referendum in July.

This movie had to be kick-started. There was no government funding involved, and it shows a side to the EU that the bureaucrats don’t want us to see. The EU is at odds with the UK political system because the MEPs have no real power, and those within the EU that have said power cannot be voted out like we can remove a party from power in the UK. The referendum is, as a generation, our only chance to do what our parents and grandparents didn’t.

The movie is an hour and eleven minutes long, but the Brexit: The Movie website has the full film broken down into chunks for sporadic viewing.

I implore everyone to watch it before they vote. Whether it changes minds or not is inconsequential. The Remain campaign has done it’s best to monopolise the media with celebrity personalities and (in my opinion) wanting statistics. There is little information available for the Leave campaign that isn’t dismissed as xenophobia or right-wing drivel. If you can vote in this referendum, you have an obligation to learn and vote in a way that suits your morals and standards, no matter what they are. If you forgo your right to speak, you may find that right is no longer yours to have.

Nosgoth is Dead. Long Live Nosgoth.

Nosgoth is shutting down, less than three years after it initially entered closed beta. I have to admit that I saw this coming, and it’s one of the reasons why I stopped both playing the game and investing in it. They’re citing lack of audience growth and engagement behind the scenes which, frankly, was to be expected. But what wasn’t expected was that it was going to happen so soon.

Nosgoth originally came out of the multiplayer component of another cancelled Legacy of Kain game called Dark Sun. Psyonix (the team behind Rocket League) took it on under Square Enix as their publisher. I was lucky enough to be a part of the closed beta because of my interest in the LoK games as a whole and finding the alpha forums for it out of the blue to register before the majority of players knew about it.

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All right! Nostalgia was caught!

I can’t believe that it’s been twenty years since Pokémon was released. I still remember the Christmas that Mum and Dad bought Pokémon Blue for me, and spending almost all that day playing it, and I only got through to Cerulean City and the second Gym in the game. The only time I put it down was when I was told to and eat Christmas dinner.

I was a kid back then and we all heard the rumours on how to get a Mew, tried and failed, and we all learned about ‘cloning’ Pokémon. Three years later I got Pokémon Gold as a birthday present, and played it even more than I did Blue. I loved the time and day mechanics; my parents caught me more than once playing late at night to catch a Hoothoot, and entering the Bug Catching competition three times a week to catch all of the ones only attainable during the event.

I even unearthed my old Gameboy (I’d been given a Gameboy Pocket in the space between), and transferred only one Pokémon over; Orion, my Starmie. Turns out she was female, since gender was something that was now a thing outside of the Nidorans.

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You Are Tenno. I Will Prepare You.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been engrossed in a game that has given me the chance to rack up three figures in hours played. There’s MMOs, there’s Team Fortress 2 and the Mass Effect series. Since I started playing Warframe, I’ve seen my playtime soar, and I’m feeling better for it.

I played it once before but I don’t think I gave it the attention and head-space that it needed to show off everything it had. With it being in Beta at the time (though it still is now), I wrote it off and moved on. I came back to it about three weeks ago and I’ve honestly not been able to stop since.

The game itself has a very MMO feel to it, though it’s entirely instance-based as opposed to a huge overworld with instanced areas. The game has such a flair to it that it feels like a combination between a shooter and a spectacle fighter, and it looks gorgeous even on my old machine.

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