I’ll be honest with you, I’m writing this at the end of November. It seems like I always do it this time of year, and then tweak it a little bit each time I want to add something.
The word that could describe my online presence this year is a sobering one: inconsequential. It’s one of the reasons why I haven’t written anything published since April; I’ve not been myself, or someone that at the beginning of 2018 I would call myself. But perhaps that isn’t a bad thing.
I’m a different man at the end of this year than I was at the beginning of it. I got a promotion for starters; took me from three days a week to five with a raise to match (even after tax!). Still in retail, but in a peripheral role as opposed to a central one. I’m always cagey about talking about work here, so I’m sorry for the vagueries.
But more important than that, I found God.
The fact that I even hesitate to write that for fear of ridicule is a reminder of how I used to be in regards to religion, but there it is. I rediscovered Christianity over two decades after walking away from it. I’m not going to change what I write about here; I want to keep that conversation in it’s own area for my sanity as well the perceived freedom. I’m sure I will crosspost or fold the two together eventually, but one step at a time.
Faith Camp was the event of the year for me. Somewhat because I went on my first genuine excursion on a motorcycle and I got bit by the camping bug again, but mainly because I was able to unplug almost entirely and focus on faith. Even though mobile phones and power-banks were still the order of the week-and-a-half, it was almost cleansing to be so carefree. Worship was the punctuation of the beginning and end of the day; anything else was each person’s choice.
But let’s do what I’ve done for years now and revisit my previous resolutions:
Lose 1st (14lbs) from my weight at the end of 2017.
This would’ve meant weighing 14st 11lbs. I have failed this goal, however I am not going to consider it a total loss. I originally weighed 15st 11lbs. Today I weigh 15st 6lbs. That brings my total loss since September 2016 to 32lbs. However, my lowest was just after Faith Camp at 14st 9lbs. A lot of that was down to the weather being unbearably hot, but it was an achievement for me. I ended up walking back a lot of that progress to where I was 16st a few weeks ago. Depression wasn’t the cause of my problems this time, however. The problem this time was a lack of self-control.
Get my AAT Foundation Qualification in Accountancy, and begin the next course
This never got off the ground for two reasons. One, I got the promotion I had been working for; I didn’t expect to get it, especially the way it happened. And two, I was under the impression that I couldn’t get student finance for the course. It turns out that I could. But right now, this is no longer on the table, if only for time’s sake. If I’m doing Accounting I’m taking it seriously and giving it the time it requires; as it stands I cannot do that.
Begin Tabletop gaming again, whether using Roll20 or in a physical setup.
This one is a total success. I’m only playing with one group right now (on a Sunday after the Morning Service, no less!), but it’s alternating campaigns to give each DM time to work the campaign out. I have Barrattiel the Dragonborn Divine Soul Sorcerer, Melchiah the Tiefling Glamour Bard, and Vertrari, the Half-Drow Hexblade Warlock. Apparently I have a thing for Charisma and casters.
Looking ahead at 2019, I have four main goals in mind.
- Lose 1st (14lbs) from my weight at the end of 2018 (that would make my goal 14st 6lbs).
- Get my timekeeping back on track. This means keeping a Bullet Journal for the year of 2019.
- DM (aka run) an adventure module and create my own campaign framework in D&D 5e.
- Camp at least twice in the year. I have everything for it now!
A lot of my smaller ideas (reading, cooking, writing etc) revolve around the timekeeping goal, as the only way I’ll be able to make time for them is to structure it properly.
I’ve asked myself a few times why I have returned to blogging on here, and it’s for one main reason: I’m holding myself both publicly and privately accountable. It’s not a case of leaving myself open to ridicule when I fail. Moreso that I have decided to do something, and writing/typing about it keeps me to what I have said.
This year has been an odd one for me and odd is not exactly quite the word for it. I said before that I wasn’t the same person that started this year. To elaborate on that, I look at the person I was at the start of the year, and all I recognise is the outside; the shell. There’s a different drive inside of me; different goals, different values. When I look beyond the physical, I barely even recognise myself.
I’m still me, but I’m no longer stagnant. That sense of growth and movement is incredibly important to me. Entwine it around my faith, and I’m hopeful. Something I never thought I would truly be.